Can we meet today? We need to talk x
I read over the last four words what must have been about sixty times. I had received the text from Harry yesterday, but I couldn’t quite bring myself to reply. Because meeting up would mean discussing the situation we’re in, and how we feel, and I’ve never been good at that. It had been a week since the gig, since he started his ‘winning back’ phase.
'You're going to have to reply at some point Moo.' Annie strolled into my room, taking a place next to me on my bed.
'I know, I just don't know how to.'
'It's easy Meg, you just do the whole, 'Yes Harry, I will meet up with you, but you are still a cheating piece of shit, and no amount of cheesy love songs will get me to fall for your tricks again.' and voila, job done!'
'I can guarantee they will though. I'm never going to have the willpower to let him go An, it's like magnets, when we're apart, we're apart. That's all there is to it. Then we see eachother and it's like something drags us together and we end up going back to the start.'
'Well you're fucking idiots, Harry isn't who he used to be.'
'Why are you being so negative about this?!'
'Because I don't want to stand here and watch my big sister get her heart broken again, I watched it happen when you left Holmes Chapel for London and when dad died. And there is no way in hell I'm prepared to see that happen again.' She stood up and stormed out of the room. I guess she was right, when my heart broke, so did hers.
Meet me at mine, 2 o clock x
I tapped out the text and sat and watched the clock, it was 1.30, and every minute felt like an hour.
2.28pm and still no sign of him, coward. I grabbed my jacket and slipped on my battered shoes and stormed out the front door, a walk was always how I cleared my head. Earphones in and the world didn’t matter.
'Fucking idiot.' I muttered under my breathe as I shoved my earphones in, turning up the volume to its max.
'Who's that then?' I heard a voice from infront of me, his voice. Shit.
'I know I'm late, I had to finish up at the recording studio before I could come here. But I'm here now.' He weakly smiled, a prominant dimple forming in his left cheek.
'We'd better get talking then. Walk and talk?' He laughed as I suggested it, 'walking and talking' was a regular thing we used to do in Holmes Chapel, when one of us had something to talk about. We would walk for hours, discussing pretty much everything.
'I'd love to.' He smiled an made a U-turn, back down my drive onto the quiet lanes of the village just outside central London.
She remembered walking and talking, that suprised me. It was all we ever used to do, I missed it, alot.
'What did you want to talk about then?' She looked up to me, her big eyes beaming at me.
'Just what's happening with us really..'
'Harry, I can't-'
'I know, you can't just jump back into a relationship with me, because I was a dick, and I fucked up, big time. But I still love you, and I know you still love me, you're just scared to show it. Aren't you? Because you think I'm going to hurt you again. I'm not, I can promise you, hand on my heart, I will never hurt you again. You're the best thing I've ever had, and letting you go was a stupid thing to do. But if you let me, I'll show you how you're everything I need. I need you in my life, whether we're in a relationship, engaged, seeing eachother, best friends, or even just distant friends. You're all that matters.' I stopped walking, and turned to face her, staring into her eyes.
'But this is the thing Harry, you used to say things like this to me before you fucked another girl, and look where that got us. I don't have trust in you anymore, I really don't. I'm sorry.'
'I was drunk Meg, and you fucking know that! Why do you always have to use that against me?!'
'Because you cheated. Once a cheat, always a cheat. Isn't that what they say?'
'You're just fucking with my head now Megan.'
'Fucking with your head? You couldn't even feel anything close to what I've felt the past year Harry, you don't know what it's like. And don't you dare call me Megan.'
'I do know what its like, other people have hard times too you know, not just you! Yes, your dad died, I understand that, but you need to realise that you have to let go of all the bad things in your life to find the good ones!'
'I guess I need to let go of you then.'
'What else is there to do Harry?' I was speechless, nothing I said would fix us.
'Exactly. And what's that saying? If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, its real. Let it go now H, our time is up.' She turned away and started walking back to her house, I watched her walk away until she was out of my sight, as tears pricked my eyes. I had let her go.
Anonymous said: I LOVE YOUR FANFICS! XOX
thankyou anon x
'Ouch.' Thats the only word that came to mind in the morning, the pain of my head making me regret every shot I knocked back last night.
'Morning sunshine!' An enthusiastic Niall came through the door and flew the curtains open, making my eyes burn at the sight of the sunlight beaming through the window.
'Morning.' I grumbled, holding my head in my hands, suddenly remembering what Harry had said last night. 'Niall, where's your gig tonight?!'
'Urm, the 02 academy, why?'
'Just wondering, when does it start?'
'Seven. Why do you want to know Meg?'
'Harry wants me there..'
'Why? You're over?!'
'I don't know why, ask him not me!' I rushed out the room, grabbing my phone out of the kitchen and tapping out a text to Holly.
You’re going to the boys gig tonight aren’t you? Fancy taking me along?!xxx
She replied within seconds, being just as confused as Niall was.
Yeah course I’ll take you, but I would have thought seeing Harry would be the last thing you want to do?xxx
It is, but he wants me there for a reason, and I want to know what his reason is!xxx
'Good evening girlies!' Liam shouted cheerily to the crowd, their screams almost bursting my eardrums as we stood watching the boys in the front row.
'We're mixing it up a bit tonight, its gonna be a little bit different. I'm just gonna let Harry explain now, so go on Hazza!' The boys exited the stage, leaving Harry stood on his own. He grabbed Niall at the last second and whispered in his ear, Niall nodded and grabbed his guitar from the side of the stage.
I grabbed Niall, telling him the song I wanted him to play and he took his guitar from the side of the stage. I clasped my hands together, suddenly feeling nervous and extremely awkward.
'Hey guys..' The crowd screamed, making me feel more relaxed immediately. 'So, as most of you know, recently I've lost the most important person to me. The one girl who has put a smile on my face nearly every day for years. And I love her more than anything. But I made a huge mistake, and I'm never going to forgive myself for it, and I don't expect you to forgive me either Meg, but I just can't keep my eyes off of you.'
I met her eyes where she was stood in the front row, twiddling with the ends of her long, chesnut hair, tears began falling down her face as she knew what I was about to do.
'You say I never remember things about you, and yes, most of the time you're completely right. But I will never forget the moment I lost you for the first time, as I kissed you goodbye, this song was playing in the background, your all time favourite song, the song you want played at your wedding. Maybe our wedding. Its you and me Meg, its always been you and me. I love you.' Niall started strumming out the chords to Lifehouse's 'you and me' as I began to sing.
What day is it? And in what month? This clock never seemed so alive. I can’t keep up, and I can’t back down I’ve been losing so much time. Cause its you and me, and all of the people with nothing to do, nothing to lose. And its you and me, and all of the people, and i don’t know why, I can’t keep my eyes off of you.
I smiled as the song came to an end, stretching out my hand to her and leading her up on stage. I hugged her for what felt like the first time in forever, her scent making me feel at home as she whispered in my ear.
'You haven't won me back just yet Styles, but thats the nicest thing you've ever done for me. I can't believe you remember that! I love you too.'
I placed a kiss on her lips, shivers shooting up my spine. She left the stage and let me and the boys get on with the gig, but every time my eyes met hers in the crowd, the smile on my face grew bigger and bigger.
'YOU'RE HOME! How was New York?!' Annie practically screamed and jumped on me as I walked through the front door, ever since dad had passed, we had grown much closer, the fighting between us both was just a distant memory.
'The place? Incredible. The first thirteen days of the holiday? Incredible. The last day and the flight home? Fucking awful.' I sighed, running my hands through my knotty hair in frustration.
'Language missy!' My mum walked through the door, smiling and pulling me in for a hug, her scent filling my nostrils, making me feel a little bit more at ease.
'Why was it so bad?' Annie shifted on her feet, looking concerned.
'Uh, me and Harry are over..' Tears fell from my eyes at just the thought of not having him anymore.
'What?! Why?!' My little sister grabbed me, as we switched roles for a split second, wiping my tears away and hugging me tightly.
'He cheated. Fucked some girl in Newcastle. So, I ended it. And I really, really miss him already.'
'Come here baby!' My mum cradled me in her arms, stroking my hair and kissing my head like I was a child all over again.
'Twat.' Annie crossed her arms and stormed into the living room, turning back on her heel to face me again. 'Oh, but Meg, I'm having a party on friday and I've text Liam, he said he'll bring the boys..'
'Just ask him not to bring H, yeah?'
'Alright.' I smiled at her and left the room, walking up the stairs and dumping everything on my floor, jumping onto my bed and just crying into my pillow, letting myself fall asleep.
'Are you sure I look okay?' I repeated for what seemed like the fiftieth time, driving Annie crazy.
'You look amazing. All the beautiful boys at the party will want you!' She winked and laughed at herself, already a little bit drunk.
We made our way downstairs and waited for people to arrive, about half an hour into the party the door burst open.
'THE PARTY DON'T START TILL I WALK IN!' Louis' voice echoed through the house, making me smile instantly, as he walked through the door, followed by a lovely looking Niall, Liam and Zayn.
'Don't kid yourself Tinker, the party just gets louder when you walk in.' I winked, pulling him in for a hug. He pulled me aside and looked me in the eye.
'He misses you, you know that don't you?'
'I miss him too. But, he cheated Lou.'
'I know, and I know you can never forgive him for that, but he's not him anymore. He doesn't sleep, he doesn't talk to any of us, he just sits there listening to his ipod looking at pictures of you. He's not our Harry anymore.'
'Its hurting me too you know Louis? It was his choice to cheat, nobody forced him to.' I started raising my voice, getting angrier.
'I know, and trust me, none of us are happy with him for what he did just, think about it yeah?' At that moment the door flew open, revealing a drained looking Harry in the door way.
'I'll leave you both to it..' Louis slipped out the door, squeezing my shoulder as he walked past.
'I don't really know what to say, I guess I'm sorry.' Harry spoke quietly, looking down to the floor.
'Sorry isn't good enough Harry, a thousand sorrys aren't good enough for what you did. But I'm sorry too. You aren't dead to me, you're everything to me. I just can't do this at the minute.'
'I know, but I'll make it up to you, I promise. Look, I can't be here long, Gemma's down and I've left her in the car, but me and the boys have a gig tomorrow night, just be there okay? I promise to make it up to you. I love you.' He kissed my forehead as I turned away and walked out the door, slipping his hands in his pockets and stepping out into the cold night.
Anonymous said: dudee please add more! its been so longgg
ikrr, i’ve got some written, ill put it up later:)
Anonymous said: Pleaseee add more! haha I can't wait to see what happens with meg and harry :)
oooooh anon, you’ll just have to wait;)
if i can get it done without distractions, i’ll put it up tonight, but if not tomorrow i promise:)
'Ready?' Liam spoke from the bathroom, popping his head around the door.
'Nearly, what time have we got to be down?' I tied my hair into a bun high on my head and started applying concealer to under my eyes where there were dark bags, the crying all night had really took its toll.
'Nine, Louis is running late like usual, but Harry, Niall, Zayn and Holly are already down there.' My face dropped as my stomach did the same, Harry. Just the name made me feel nauseaus. Liam sensed the hurt I was feeling and walked over, wrapping his strong arms around my body.
'You'll be fine Meg, you're made for eachother. I promise.' He smiled and kissed my forehead as he rolled his suitcase out the door. 'Come on, lets get down there, yeah?' I nodded back and followed. We made our way to reception, Holly running over straight away as she saw us coming their way.
'Hold up miss. What the fuck is going on? You and Harry are over? He cheated?! When did all this happen?!' Her loud voice rang in my ears, making my head bang a little more than it already was.
'I don't know whats going on. Yes we are. Yes he did. In Newcastle he did it, last night we ended it. Well, I ended it. And I really fucking regret it.' Tears spilled from my eyes as she caught them and wiped them away.
'Look, just avoid him for today okay? Then work it all out when we get home, look at how much you've been through together already. I'm sure you can get through this.'
'I don't think I'll ever forgive him for it though, Hol. Its just one of those things that will always eat away at me, driving me crazy.' She gave me a sympathetic smile and walked back to Zayn who was leaning against a pillar, messing with his phone. I sighed and trailed behind her, my heart thumping in my chest at the possibility of any contact having to be made with Harry.
'You look tired babe, want to lean your head on my shoulder?' Liam looked at me, his eyes filled with concern.
'No, I'm fine thanks, I just need to go sort myself out, I'll be back in a minute.' I smiled weakly and stood up, walking down the plane aisle to the toilet. I spent about five minutes in there, re-doing my hair and splashing my face with cold water, then I just sat on the toilet seat, thinking. I finally built up the energy to leave when the worst possibility happened. Harry. The corners of his mouth turned up as he saw me, but he soon turned to a stern look.
'We need to talk.'
'At home Harry, we can talk at home, not now. Please.' He took hold of my wrist as I tried to push past him, pulling me back so I had to look him in the eye, almost getting lost in his beautiful eyes.
'Please Meg, this isn't fair. Its killing me not having you, it really is.'
'Killing you? Harry, you're dead to me.' He let go, his face dropping. He walked away taking back his seat next to Louis, clenching his fists. He should have hit me, I wouldn't have blamed him. I didn't mean for them hurtful words to come out, it was just a heat of the moment thing, word vomiting.
He wasn’t dead to me, he was far from it. He was my Harry, mine. The reason I got up in the morning and the reason I was happy every single day. I was truly, madly, and deeply in love with him.
And I’d just gone and fucked it all up.
Anonymous said: seriously love your fan fic... PLEASE ADD MRE XXXXXXX
awww thanks darl! i will soon, when i’ve finished all my exams and everything:) xxx
Anonymous said: loveddd part 33 updateee please im dyin to read mre xxx
ahah, i’ll try get some up later:) xx
'Harry, what aren't you telling me?' Her voice was raised, echoing through the room.
'Spit it out Harry, you're just fucking around now.' If only she knew..
'Well urm, on tour, in Newcastle. You know the night me and the boys got really drunk at the hotel bar?'
'Yeah, the night Louis answered your phone because you were helping Matt get Aiden to bed because he was paraletic?'
'Yeah. Thats not what happened.' She folded her arms and frowned.
'I don't really know where you're going with this Harry, I'm not sure I like it..'
'There was this girl at the bar too, she was flirting with Zayn all night but as I was about to go up to the room to get something she followed me..'
'Right..' Tears spilled out of her bright green eyes as she sat back on the bed, running her hands through her hair.
'She ended up coming into my room, and we got talking..'
'And you fucked her. After everything, you fucked her.' Her voice was emotionless, monotone.
'I was drunk-'
'Oh yeah, I'm so sorry Harry, I forgot that makes everything okay!' She stood up and picked up her phone, putting it in her pocket as if she was about to leave.
'Where are you going Meg?' I took hold of her arm, pulling her close to me.
'I'm getting away from you. This is why you took me to New York isn't it?! You make me sick Harry Styles. You thought bringing me to the one place I loved more than anything would help you with this one, you thought it would soften the blow when you told me what a cheating love rat you were. You see, the thing is Harry, you told me forever. You've always told me forever. I can't do it anymore. I can't let you go gallavanting around, sleeping with other girls when I'm not around. You're only 17, and so am I. Maybe this is all wrong, maybe we're not meant to be after all, are we? I'm done. We're done. Your so called “forever” is over.' She walked to the side of the room, still wiping away tears. She picked up her suitcase she had already packed for the flight in the morning and walked to the door.
'Meg, we can't be over because I love you. You can't let go just like that. Not if you loved me as much as you say you do..'
'You slept with another girl Harry, you cheated on me! Thats not loving someone, its betrayal Harry! I do fucking love you, I still love you now after this, and I will still love you years on from now. Because its first love isn't it? You can never really let go of them. But you don't love me, you never did.'
She stormed out of the door, slamming it behind her. I collapsed onto the bed, pulling my hair and crying as my phone vibrated once again.
New message from Lou:
I just saw Meg going into Liam’s room, she didn’t take it too well I’m guessing? I think she’s staying in there tonight. You and Meg have got through alot together, I don’t think this will change anything. You love her, she loves you, its always been that way. Try and get some sleep now H, okay? Everything will be fine. I promise you as your best friend, it will all be fine. xx
I tucked my phone under the pillow and curled up on top of the duvet. Why did I have to go and fuck things up for us?!
I still love her, of course I do, but she’s gone now.
The holiday had been truly amazing, and even though the two weeks in New York were nearly over, everybody was still as happy as I’d ever seen them, except for me that is.. I read the words of Louis’ text over and over, every time they looked less like words, and more like patterns on the screen.
Tell her tonight Harry, please, just tell her. What harm can it do?x
What harm can it do Louis? What harm can it do?! All the harm in the fucking world.
'I still can't get over the fact I'm here, and the fact we're leaving tomorrow..' Meg's voice came from the balcony, she spent most of her time there when we were in our room, leaving me to flick through the american TV channels.
'Well, its been incredible baby..' I walked out onto the balcony, wrapping my arms around her waist and leaning my chin on her shoulder, we looked down onto the city, it really was amazing, the bright lights lighting up every single part of it.
'You know, when I was a little girl, my dad used to tell me that the day he took me to New York would be the day he won the lottery. Every birthday and Christmas, the two things I put on my lists were to be famous, and to go to New York, once I asked if I could go just for a day, and I wouln't spend any money. Look at me now..'
'He would be really proud of you you know, the way you've handled everything..' She loosened my grip and walked back into the room, wiping the tears from her face.
'I hope so. I guess its just every girls dream to have her Dad walk her down the aisle isn't it. I wanted him to watch me grow from a teenage girl who makes mistakes to a woman, I wanted him to see his grandkids. But, he's never coming back Harry.' I pulled her into my chest, her sobs making my top wet. I couldn't tell her now, could I? It would make the matters worse, and if I wait till we get back she'll just take it even worse than she would here. Why am I such a dick?! I sit cradling her for what feels like forever until theres a knock on the door. Meg walked back out onto the balcony as I answered.
'Who is it?!'
'Me!' Louis' voice booms through the door.
'I don't know a Me, sorry!' I laugh at my own joke, oldest are the funniest hey?!
'Let me in mate, I need a wee and Niall's in the bathroom!'
I open the door and let him in, he pushes straight past me and runs into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. Two minutes later he emerges, zipping his trousers up as he walks.
'Can't you do that before you leave the toilet Louis?'
'No can do, sorry mate.' He turns to his left and looks at Meg on the balcony. 'Have you told her yet?' His smile turns into a frown, serious Louis has always kind of scared me.
'No, I can't bring myself to it Lou, not when she's just been talking about her dad, I can't.'
'For fucks sake Harry, man up. Stop making petty excuses, you've been making them for weeks now, its time she knew, just tell her!' He raised his voice, making Meg turn around, looking confused.
'Tell me what?' Her voice was croaky from crying.
'Meg..' I tried to speak but she cut me off.
'Harry, what do you need to tell me?!'
I looked down to the floor, shifting my weight from one foot to another.
'I'll leave you to it, bye.' Louis ran out the door faster than I'd ever seen him move, as I was about to speak my phone vibrated in my pocket.
New message from Lou:
Sorry H. I didn’t mean to be loud about it, but she should know. Good luck buddy, love ya. :)
Here goes nothing, or everything.
'Niall, I swear down, if you fart one more time I will personally chuck you out of the planes emergency exit. Don't test me Horan!' Zayn's voice came from the seats behind us, Niall's cheeky laugh following it.
'Mate, you pulled the short straw with him next to you!' Harry shouted over the back of the seat, Niall's face looking sad.
'Aw boys, don't be mean, I still love you baby Niallers!' I turned around, squeezing his cheek, he pushed away my hand and frowned.
'You sit next to him and his gas filled ass then Meg, have fun!' Zayn patted me on the shoulder, laughing through his words.
'Uh, no thanks Zayn, I'm fine where I am.' I smiled sarcastically and fastened my seatbelt as the plane got ready for take off.
'Liam, grab it, thats mine!' Louis screeched, making heads turn. Nobody was in the best of moods, apart from Louis, of course.
'Yes Louis, I can see that, its on the other side right now, if you want it so much, you get it!' Liam snapped, making Louis shy away and go sit on a little seat across the big room. Zayn, Liam and Harry got all the bags off the travellator, while Niall ran around like an impatient little boy looking for the toilet, and me and Hollie started the 'New York photo album' we were planning to make by taking pictures of anything and everything we laid eyes on.
Soon enough we were in a minibus, making our way to the hotel we would be staying in for the next two weeks, and everyone had got into a good mood, all laughing and joking.
'BABY I'M FROM NEW YORRRRRRRRRRRRRK!' All the boys sang in sync, me and Hollie snapping pictures before they could turn their heads away and stop us.
'Guys, we're here!' The driver pulled up outside the Roosevelt hotel, as my breath caught in my throat. This is the one place I had been dreaming about since I was a little girl, and now I was finally here, with the five best friends in the world and the best boyfriend I could dream of.
We stepped into the hotel, as Liam and Harry went to get the room keys.
'Floor 7!' Harry shouted as we all made our way to the lift, Niall repeatedly pressing the button, trying to make it come any faster than it possibly could.
We got to the floor and all went into our seperate rooms.
'Night guys!' Me and Harry shouted to the rest, closing the hotel room door. I turned to face the whole room, its interior detail the most beautiful thing in the world. I stepped out onto the balcony, Harry closely behind.
'The view. I'm speechless Harry..' The whole of New York was below us, lit up like in the films, it was the most beautiful place on earth.
'Yeah well, I knew how much you wanted it..'
'I love you so much Harry Edward Styles.'
'I love you too.'-
cause if you don’t i’ll seriously give up on them:L:L
The end credits of the film played on the screen, as Holly drifted off to sleep on the sofa next to me. I checked my phone, 10.58, the boys should be off stage after their last night in Cardiff now, surely? Just as I was about to find Harry’s name and press call, my phone started vibrating in my hand.
'Hello you!' I said chirpily, just the thought of seeing him after over a month in two days making me happier than ever.
'Hey beautiful.' His voice was soft, quiet.
'Don't cry cause its over Harry, the end of the tour is the beginning of everything else life is going to bring you. Okay?'
'Yeah, course. Look, I know I said I'd meet you at yours on Tuesday, but me and the boys have planned something. All of us, you, Holly and Hannah. Meet us at Gatwick at around 12? We'll be waiting for you! Pack for two weeks, and sun. I promise its worth the suprise! I have to go now baby, but thats all I wanted to tell you. See you at the airport,i love you.' He cut off the line before I could get another word in, excitement took over as I jumped on Hollie.
'HOL. WE'RE GOING ON HOLIDAY!' She jumped upwards, knocking me onto the cold, laminate floor and rubbed her eyes.
'What the fuck are you on about you crazy girl?!'
'I'll explain everything in a bit, we need to start packing!'
'Why aren't they here yet?!' Hollie screeched, her excitement getting the better of her.
'They'll be here soon, keep your knickers on girl!' Just as I answered, the automatic doors slid open, revealing five beautiful boys making their way through them. I dropped everything I was holding and ran straight over to them, Harry saw me coming and let go of everything too, holding his arms out. It was like a cliche movie scene. He picked me up in his arms and span me round, kissing my forehead as he did so. He put me down and kissed me properly before we said anything to eachother properly.
'Oh hey stranger! Can you please tell me where we're going now?! I think I'm going to pass out with excitement!'
'Hmm, not just yet beautiful!' Harry locked his fingers with mine and we walked over to where I had dropped all of my belongings, we picked them back up and made our way to the check in desk.
'Hiya love!' Harry spoke politely to the woman behind the desk. He turned to me and pointed to where everybody else was stood. 'Don't think you can find out this easily Moore, get your backside over there!' I huffed and walked over to everyone else, crossing my arms in a childish manner. After about ten minutes, Harry finally came back over.
'Right baby, ready to find out!?'
'Well, I know how much you've always wanted to visit where we're going. I remember the second time I ever met you, you told me how it was your dream to go here, and I want to make your dream come true. Are you ready for New York City?' My heart felt like it was in my mouth, I was shaking and tears of happiness were forming in my eyes.
'I love you Harry Styles!' I threw my arms around his neck, knocking him into Liam, but I didn't care all that much. All I cared about was the fact I was going to the place I had wanted to go to since the age of nine.